The (E)Scape Goat

On the schedule this morning was a meeting at the bank for our CFO (Sharon) and me.  We met at the office, exchanged some thoughts for the day, and drove to the meeting in my minivan.  The meeting went as planned, and we headed back to the office.


We were at a stop sign on our way back to the office when something unusual caught our eye.  I had received a phone call and was only half-listening to Sharon when I heard her door open.  She got out of the vehicle and went from a CFO to a goat whisperer.  There was a goat in the middle of the road.  She wanted to get it to a safe place so she started to walk toward it.  I just stared and watched as it came right to her.  I no longer was engaged in my phone call and interrupted the person on the other end by saying... “Umm I need to go ~ I will call you back [click].”


I also abandoned my seat in the van and met Sharon on the side of the road.  She had her hand under the collar of her new goat friend.  We called it No-name.  As women in leadership we knew we needed to problem-solve.  We couldn’t leave this goat on the road and take the chance of it getting hit.  It clearly was away from its home.  We looked at each other for a second and laughed.  What are we going to do with a goat in the road while we're dressed for a business meeting in a minivan?  I knew the area well and was aware that there was a house about a half mile down the road that has goats.  It must be theirs.  


We decided to try to get No-name in the van.  Sharon, dressed in business “banking” clothes, tried to get the goat in the side door of my minivan.  Due to his resistance we gave No-name another option – the back door.  That didn't work either.  I suggested to Sharon that I lift with her and put him in.  She quickly said, "Oh no.  You will get filthy and stink…this goat is stinky."   Oh great.  And we're going to put it in my van that I use daily for business…sure hope no customer needs a lift anytime soon.  


I had a brilliant idea.  I opened the other side door and called No-name to come while Sharon stayed on her side.  It worked!  No-name was now in the van.  Sharon held him in the back while I jumped in the front seat and shoved it into drive like I would from a crime scene if I was guilty.   Then I heard Sharon say “I hope it doesn’t poop”.   REALLY??!!!  


We got to the house that has goats in the field.  Whew… we were close to dropping No-name off with its family.  I decided that the distance from the road to the fenced in area was too far to walk this thing so I decided to think of my minivan as an F- 150 in 4 wheel drive and drove in the field of clovers, wheat or overgrown grass…I don't know what it was, I'm not a farmer.  I drove through the field while Sharon played the role, literally, of back-seat-driver telling me to miss the big holes while holding No-name in place.  I couldn’t help but laugh as I split my attention between navigating the holes in the field and taking pictures of her and this goat in my back seat.  Who does this in the middle of the morning on a work day?  


In the middle of the field I felt the tires spinning.  Oh great.  We're going to be stuck in the middle of this field with a goat in our van, and we are both in heels.


We had to try to get this goat to the fenced in area.   Sharon opened the door and let the goat out.  I got out to help her guide this lost goat to the fenced area.  It’s muddy and sloppy, and now the goat started eyeing me up as it got closer to me with its horns.  I showed my cards of insecurity and started to repeat out loud, “It’s gonna get me!  It’s gonna get me!”  In a calming voice Sharon said, "Just stand still – do not run."  I knew she was holding back laughing at me.  We got No-name to the fence and Sharon advised me start backing up but not to run.  I did exactly as she said.  She grew up around farm animals so I was confident in trusting her  goat expertise, but I still walked backward never dropping eye contact with No-name.  Him I did not trust.


It wasn’t long before I got the courage to turn toward the van and run (in my dress shoes in a wet field).   When I was into the 5th stride of what I call running I heard Sharon yell, “He’s coming!”  I stepped it up at the risk of falling on my face only to hear her say through uncontrollable laughter, “Just kidding!”  


We both made it back to the van and guess what…No-name really had followed us.  I instinctively put my window up.  He came to Sharon’s side and put his two front hooves through the open window and into the van.  My gut instinct was to put the window up until I heard the goat whisperer say, "Stop! You caught its hoof in the window!"  I put the window back down and No-name stood there perfectly fine staring at us through the window.


We contacted Michael who owned the other goats only to find out it was not his!  I exclaimed on the phone, “We need your help, this goat is NOT getting back in the van.  We need to get to work.”  He arrived in minutes, took responsibility for No-name, and we managed to back out of the field without having to call Big Joe's Towing.  Whew!  How do you explain that to AAA?  


We ended up back at the office a little stinky and muddy but full of laughter.  We told Scott the story and he laughed with us.  About 90 minutes later I got a text that read: 

Hi Brenda, I’m Chelsea on Leslie Road.  My goat jumped his fence while I was grocery shopping.  I heard you might have picked him up??


No-name now has a name ~ it is Mr. Ramsies.  Sharon and I will never forget our adventure with him.  He was truly Fun To Be Around.  This proved to be a blessing in many ways… the owners of Mr. Ramsies came to say thanks and gave us a gift that we decided to donate to a missions group that my daughter’s school is collecting for this month.  It turned out to be a win for everyone!   Thank you God for a fun day!